The other day I wrote about how things had been kind of peaceful around here lately. Cory is working a lot, kids activities are winding down and we are just going about our day to day activities with not much excitement just waiting for spring. I can't help but chuckle right now at how one day we can be just blah and the next BAM! Let me explain....The first half of our week was very peaceful, normal, boring....then Valentine's Day hit...it must be a thing about holidays, they induce stress and crabiness. Anyway, our Valentine's day started out much like normal, Cory (my AMAZING husband) left me a note beside my bed and a deck of cards that had 52 reasons why he loves me on them....no flowers or anything else necessary, he knew exactly what would make me love him and that was it....if I haven't said it before I LOVE THIS MAN!! We proceeded through our day, gathered for our annual family Valentine Spaghetti dinner complete with chocolate milk served in wine glasses, our best dishes, a yummy supper and dessert (which is a special treat at our house since usually making supper is difficult enough for me, not to mention dessert). Then later in the evening Cory and I were talking about our days and the spiral began...downward...our conversation turned into an argument and before we knew it he was in bed angry and I was on the couch angry....Happy Freaking Valentines Day right! Well the spiral continued because of course I was grumpy the next morning (yesterday) so I got into a tiff with child #4 who to her defense has not been feeling well all week, but I was not in a feeling sorry for her mood so I flew off the handle about something rediculous (unfortuantely I have this problem)...so my Friday was not off to a good start and I don't know about you, but for me I tend to let one bad moment ruin most of my day..I have a hard time refocusing.
So the spiral continued...my sister called with some disturbing news and a misunderstanding turns into a knock down drag out fight among a couple of girlfriends...I am still trying to figure out at what time I stepped into the tme machine and redeposited myself back in 2nd grade....so the sprial continued, UNTIL JESUS STEPPED IN. At one point during my day yesterday I had an idea that maybe if I prayed about this rotten day, just maybe Jesus would do something and it would get better. So I took a few minutes while folding bulletins at church and I poured my heart and my rotten day out to God. And just as I had expected things started to change after that....I started to change. Suddenly I realized that I was the problem with almost all of the issues I was facing during the last 12 hours...I need to step down from my crabby throne of selfishness and repent. Amazingly after a while my day did get better, things simmered with Cory and I, apologies were given and we returned to our much happier, loving state of mind. I remembered that my little girl was sick and so I offered my affection and snuggles to her, and the girlfriend situation...well lets just say it changed...not immediately.....some things are still getting worked out today, but it will get there, because in the end we are all Christians and we all know what is right and we will get there, we always do.
What I learned in the last 24 hours is that once again...I am the reason for most of the conflict in my life. Just when I think I have it all under control and nothing could go wrong (you know I get up on my high horse), Jesus steps in and says "wait just a minute young lady" and throws me a curve ball or in this case a tunnel to hurl myself spiraling down! He reminds me that HE is King of my life NOT me and everything I say or do needs to be run through Him first, not through selfish me! He reminds me in Philippans 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." and in Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Father, forgive me for persuing my selfish ambitions for being stuck on ME, for judging others, unrighteously. Forgive me for not seeking you FIRST. Father I ask that you step into my life and continue to remind me when I am getting ahead of myself or in my own way. Father help me to seek YOU first and YOUR righteousness and to value all others (especially my husband, children and close friends) above myself. I am yours Lord, thank you for reminding me that once again, it's not all about me! AMEN
So the spiral continued...my sister called with some disturbing news and a misunderstanding turns into a knock down drag out fight among a couple of girlfriends...I am still trying to figure out at what time I stepped into the tme machine and redeposited myself back in 2nd grade....so the sprial continued, UNTIL JESUS STEPPED IN. At one point during my day yesterday I had an idea that maybe if I prayed about this rotten day, just maybe Jesus would do something and it would get better. So I took a few minutes while folding bulletins at church and I poured my heart and my rotten day out to God. And just as I had expected things started to change after that....I started to change. Suddenly I realized that I was the problem with almost all of the issues I was facing during the last 12 hours...I need to step down from my crabby throne of selfishness and repent. Amazingly after a while my day did get better, things simmered with Cory and I, apologies were given and we returned to our much happier, loving state of mind. I remembered that my little girl was sick and so I offered my affection and snuggles to her, and the girlfriend situation...well lets just say it changed...not immediately.....some things are still getting worked out today, but it will get there, because in the end we are all Christians and we all know what is right and we will get there, we always do.
What I learned in the last 24 hours is that once again...I am the reason for most of the conflict in my life. Just when I think I have it all under control and nothing could go wrong (you know I get up on my high horse), Jesus steps in and says "wait just a minute young lady" and throws me a curve ball or in this case a tunnel to hurl myself spiraling down! He reminds me that HE is King of my life NOT me and everything I say or do needs to be run through Him first, not through selfish me! He reminds me in Philippans 2:3 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." and in Matthew 6:33 "Seek ye first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Father, forgive me for persuing my selfish ambitions for being stuck on ME, for judging others, unrighteously. Forgive me for not seeking you FIRST. Father I ask that you step into my life and continue to remind me when I am getting ahead of myself or in my own way. Father help me to seek YOU first and YOUR righteousness and to value all others (especially my husband, children and close friends) above myself. I am yours Lord, thank you for reminding me that once again, it's not all about me! AMEN
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